Phone: 301-738-7770
Steven J. Gaba
Phone: 301-738-7770

Common thoughts when considering divorce

People who have never been through the end of a marriage often hold many preconceived notions about the process. These beliefs can make it difficult to know when divorce is the right course of action, because so many Maryland spouses have convinced themselves that there are certain conditions that must be met before taking steps to move forward. The following information is offered in the hopes of allowing spouses to fully understand that there is no "right" set of conditions that lead up to a divorce, and to listen to their own heart when making choices about their future.

One of the most commonly held beliefs about divorce is that spouses need to reach a level of hatred toward their partner before divorce is the right choice. This is completely untrue; there are many scenarios in which a couple has little or no animosity between partners, but where the marriage is not working. When it becomes clear that a union is not a loving, peaceful and supportive environment, divorce can be the best path forward, even when spouses hold no hatred for one another. In fact, many divorced people will always maintain a degree of care for the health and happiness of their former husband or wife.

Along these same lines, many spouses equate a sexual relationship with a degree of success within their marriage. That is to say, as long as they are maintaining physical connection with their partner, they feel as though the marriage can be salvaged. While each couple is unique, and some marriages that falter can certainly be saved, the simple fact that sex remains a part of the equation does not mean that divorce is not the right choice for both parties.

These matters are complicated, and it can be difficult for many Maryland spouses to work through the list of pros and cons when it comes to the thought of ending their marriage. It is important to realize that some of the beliefs that we create and hold around the topic of divorce are not always valid. In the examples mentioned above, neither retaining a level of care for one's spouse or maintaining a sexual relationship are signs that the marriage is a healthy or happy one.

Source: The Huffington Post, "Deciding To Divorce? 5 Harsh Realities You Need To Accept First", Abby Rodman, Jan. 11, 2015

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