Phone: 301-738-7770
Steven J. Gaba
Phone: 301-738-7770

Moving through divorce with grace in the technological age

For many of us, the end of a marriage brings out the very worst in our personalities. Anger, resentment hurt and bitterness are an ugly cocktail, and it is the rare Maryland spouse who gets through divorce without at least a few lapses in judgement when it comes to how we portray our spouse or the details of the divorce to others. Unfortunately, technology has made it all-too-easy to spread far wider than we may have intended.

One of the best pieces of advice that anyone going through divorce can receive is to avoid sharing details of one's experience online. Social media has made it very easy to spew out our most mundane thoughts, as well as our less-than-kind opinions of the person we are divorcing. While "sharing" these feelings with the online community may feel good at the time, such comments often result in embarrassment and problems down the line.

In addition to the turmoil that can result, individuals should think about how making derogatory comments about an ex reflects on the writer. Sharing such personal information online can come across as childish, and also suggests that the writer has no ability to control his or her emotions. These are not qualities one would like to be associated with, especially by their employer, children or future romantic partners.

The best way to handle emotional distress brought about by divorce is to work with a therapist, even if only for a short time during the height of the divorce process. This gives a spouse a safe space in which to vent, which is a great way to relieve stress. In addition, having an outlet can help spouses focus on the legal aspects of their Maryland divorce, which is far more important than expressing oneself online.

Source: The Huffington Post, "5 Ways to Behave Like a Grown-Up Through Your Midlife Divorce", Abby Rodman, Sept. 21, 2014

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