Phone: 301-738-7770
Steven J. Gaba
Phone: 301-738-7770

Couples can work together to amicably sort out divorce issues

Some Maryland couples who are struggling in their marriages have a hard time deciding to actually file for divorce. Others realize sooner that things aren't working and choose to end a marriage that isn't working. Divorce issues can be difficult to sort out under the best of circumstances, whichever of those two scenarios is the case. Marriage is an emotional topic, and divorce can be an even more emotional prospect. There are steps that couples can take to help make it less harmful on an emotional level.

 

The first is to try and keep anger out of the equation when negotiating terms in a divorce. If the only reason a spouse is asking to keep something that belonged to the other is to hurt that person, then it probably isn't worth the damage it can cause to both to fight that point. By discussing things in as calm and rational a manner as possible, both divorcing spouses can benefit. While rage is likely inevitable, it can be better expressed to family and friends who are willing to vent rather than at the negotiation table.

Another helpful step is to consider the cost-benefit side of what to ask for, and what to accept. Issues aren't always as cut-and-dried as placing a monetary amount on things. Sometimes, it may be worth to give a little on the financial end of things to obtain something that is worth more, sentimentally speaking. The overall picture should be considered, and spouses should make sure they both feel they're being treated fairly in a settlement. Sometimes, though, it does help to consider whether something is truly worth fighting over.

 

One final step that may benefit Maryland couples sorting out divorce issues is to remember that sacrifice may be needed on the parts of both spouses. Give and take is inevitable during divorce negotiations. Neither partner is likely to feel that they obtained a complete victory after the divorce is finalized, but by being willing to sacrifice certain items, they may gain those that truly matter to them. In this way, couples may be able to emerge from the divorce feeling relieved that they can now move on with their own single lives rather than being stuck fighting over things that in the long run may not matter all that much.

 

Source: Huffington Post, "5 Steps to a Clean Divorce," Alison Heller, May 31, 2013

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